I had a bit of a browse around the Open University website, but to be honest I’m not up to taking on something that taxing, although I like the idea.  I suppose I have to accept that despite having A levels and a decent IQ, all these (prescription!) drugs I’m taking are dulling my mind a bit.  After all, I’m taking several of them in order to change the way my brain works.
I’ve decided that it’s time I made a will.  I’m not planning on popping my clogs any time soon, but I’ll be 41 this year.  I’ve been talking about making one for ages and I really think I should, as if anything happened to me I wouldn’t want my family to have extra hassle.  It shouldn’t be complicated as I don’t have a house or anything.  I’m wondering whether I could do it myself, or whether I need to see a solicitor.  I think the last I heard was that it would cost me about £50 to do it through a solicitor.  Has anyone ever done a DIY one?
I ended up having a tin of beans for my tea.  Good job I live alone!  I couldn’t be bothered to make anything else, though I did throw some grated cheese in.  I suppose there are worse meals nutritionally.  It doesn’t seem to matter what I eat anyway.  I still feel like crap and stay the same weight. So much for pineapple being a natural anti-inflammatory – I’ve literally drunk gallons of it and I’m still just as achey.
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I’ve had a pretty busy day, and although I’ve enjoyed it, I know I’ve overdone things.  I’m seriously achey despite a nice hot shower.  Fortunately I can have a lazy evening watching television in bed, and I don’t have to get up early tomorrow.  I’d really like to manage some serious pottering time online this weekend.  I want to get around and do some bloghopping, and also investigate free/cheap web hosting and do some research about fibromyalgia.  It amazes me that an illness that can cause so much pain and disruption of life is so little known in this country that if you mention it people say “Fibro what?”
I also want to write to my MP.  I need some adaptations done to my flat, mainly in the bathroom, as I have to climb into the bath to use the shower.  Social services won’t do them because I’m on the council housing list.  A move to somewhere more suitable is unlikely, unless I make myself homeless. I’ve already been on the list for a couple of years.  As far as the council is concerned my physical health problems come under health but my mental health problems come under welfare, so I only manage a rating of Silver – Care which doesn’t get me far up the list of priorities.  I feel like I’m in a no win Catch 22 situation.
I sometimes wonder why everything in my life is so complicated, but there we go.  Anyway for now my major decision is whether to have a salad or carrot sticks and dip for my tea…  I think the carrot sticks are winning at the moment as they’re ready prepared!  Then I’m going to take my aches and pains off to bed.

So much for watching Forensic Factor. I seem to have managed to record another hour of nothing again. Just a blank screen, not even the programme I’d recorded before. I don’t understand why I’m so useless at things like this *sigh*. I need a man – just to help me with all the electronic techie stuff you understand!
Talking of men, I put my profile and a photo on three personals sites the other day. I haven’t had one reply. Surely I’m not that ugly! If you want to judge for yourself email me or leave a comment with your email address and I’ll send you a photo. They say that you’re five times more likely to get a reply if you post a photo. In my case I think it’s probably the other way around! All joking aside, I reckon that internet dating is the only way I’m going to meet someone. I don’t go anywhere socially. I’ve met ex-boyfriends online so I’m not a complete novice at it.
I’m sort of killing time at the moment as I’m not sure what time Mum’s coming down. There’s no point getting involved in doing something on here. The builders seem to have gone again, which is nice. My brain is still rambling. I sometimes wish I could switch it off for a while. I can’t wait to get on a higher dose of fluvoxamine and get back to what purports to be normal for me.

I took my last venlafaxine tablet last night. I’m very relieved that I haven’t had much in the way of withdrawal symptoms, as I’d read some horror stories about coming off venlafaxine (also known as Efexor). The OCD is definitely worse at the moment, but it would have been whichever of this sort of anti-depressants I was stopping. I had one evening when my head was buzzing, and that’s about it. I start taking the fluvoxamine today. I’ve taken it for ages in the past so I’m not too worried. I need to remember to take it with food to start off with because it can cause nausea, but that’s about it. I seem to remember that it’s a great appetite suppressant. I was once told that it was given to bulimics. Unfortunately despite supressing my appetite, it’s quite likely to make me put on weight – *sigh*. Physically I’m still extremely tired and have various sore and aching bits, but then the pain is nothing new.
It’s a lovely sunny day, well, at least from what I can see of it. The scaffolders built one of the platforms just in the right place to cut out my view of the sky, and a lot of the light. Oh well, I don’t suppose it will be forever. I tell you what though, I would never choose to live in a flat if it was possible to live in a house. Even when I was in an upstairs flat I had a noisy neighbour. He was learning to play the saxophone and the electric guitar. A lot of the time it sounded like he was strangling a cat! The other upstairs flat I lived in was over a shop. Trouble was it was a car accessory shop and they fitted car alarms and radios etc. in the back yard. I also had to go into the shop to collect my post – which wasn’t ideal.
I’m still deliberating whether to move my blog – again! I’m not going to apologise for it this time. I’m not entirely sure why I have to keep moving it, but I know that the people who are really interested will still read it. I think the reason for changing so often is something to do with the bipolar disorder and/or OCD, but I don’t understand what exactly. For the sake of updating a link I hope people will still read my blog. And by the way, I haven’t decided where I’m moving it yet, and will keep this blog up for a little while after I set up the new one.

I fell asleep before 8pm yesterday. I slept through one of the programmes I wanted to watch, and must have set the vide wrong because I missed the other one too! Oh well, never mind, they’re bound to be repeated. I had a lie-in this morning which was nice. Not so nice was drawing back the lounge curtains and discovering that I’ve been scaffolded! I knew it was happening sometime soon so I can’t complain too much, but it’s irritating having to put up with it when the work doesn’t benefit my flat at all.
I had some nasty abdominal twinges last night, but I remembered my breathing from having the boys and didn’t have to hit the painkillers. The stomach and groin pain is a lot better though. The fibromyalgia is as usual, migrating from one part of my body to another. The worst bit to touch is the end of my left collarbone. Otherwise the aches and pains are as ‘normal’, well, what purports to be normal for me. My tummy seems to be coping pretty well with lots of fruit and vegetables and fruit juice. It’s lovely sitting down to a meal of jacket potatoes with cheese and salad, which I’ve prepared myself in about ten minutes. Not much longer than a ready meal and it tastes an awful lot better.
I’m expecting to go shopping with Mum this afternoon. We decided that the new cutlery deserves a new cutlery tray, so hopefully I’ll get one today. I don’t think I need much shopping, apart from more juice. If I drink much more pineapple juice I’ll end up looking like a pineapple! I haven’t noticed any benefits from it being a natural anti-inflammatory though. I’m feeling pretty tired already and I’ve only been up an hour and a half, so I think I’ll be having another quiet evening. I’ll have to remember to set both the videos in case I fall asleep this time!

I had a nice chat with my friend and managed to get the few things I needed in town. I’m expecting Mum to arrive shortly and then we’ll be doing some jobs. When Mum leaves I shall be off for some intensive television and an early night. Although it’s lovely & sunny here today it’s really cold and it’s definitely not helping my achey bits. I might even resort to taking my heat pads to bed with me tonight. I’m feeling pretty pooped. There’s been a lot of pain this week, and the OCD being worse isn’t helping much either.